Pent up Emotions

The thing about mistakes is we don’t realize we are committing one while we are committing one. In a life that was to be only focused on having an exceptional career, the steps taken to hedge the risks ended up being the biggest mistakes, at least till now.

At a time, when the questions should have been figuring out the next move in life and vying for better opportunities, the questions that were being asked in mind were questions about purpose of life and existence, avoiding any guidance.

When the time was about learning from your mistakes, I was too afraid to accept mine. When the time was to tread your own path, I was too busy trying to look for others’ footmarks to follow them, trying to have a life which could have given me the approval of a set of few people, who after some years, now don’t even know about my existence.

Enough time has passed for me to realize the gravity of my own naivety/mistakes. It is high time that I start trying to rectify the situation; which I will; to change whatever is possible. Maybe you will hear from me for some help or advice in some matters, if you deem it fit to help me out. If not, it’s also fine, maybe I haven’t done enough to ask you for your help. 

I understand majority of us won’t give a damn ((except family members, they always do) to such a random post from a random person writing in the middle of night and that’s perfectly fine, in fact, logical, I will say. But I needed to get it out, hoping that a few people who care, will know and understand the varied past.

I already feel lighter 😊

As it is said: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

Goodbye Big Morne

In a South African team mostly loved and respected by everyone across the cricketing world, he was the gentle monster, the smiling giant and a perfect team man.

The defining image for the gentle giant

A bowler who never truly achieved his potential in the eyes of critics, who always felt short of providing game defining performances, it was perhaps fitting for him to move away from the game permanently in a series which will certainly not be remembered for his career best performance haul. As his career has spanned out, being in the shadows of some really gifted bowlers South Africa has ever produced, it was in a way fitting that even his best performance was earmarked in a test which will always be remembered for notorious reasons of Australia’s ball tampering incident, and certainly not due to his individual brilliance with the ball. In a way, it symbolized his career of not having the spotlight throughout his career in a perfect way.

You feel for him in a way you feel for a person who puts in all the efforts possible at his end and then falls short of his goals most of the times. People can advise to tweak this and that, but in his mind, the person knows that he is playing to his strength, garnering every ounce of strength to do well. But it just doesn’t happen. And he is fine with it. He will smile, go back to his mark and start again.

Numbers don’t lie and in an era where 400 test wickets have become the norm to adjudicate greatness on a bowler, he has fallen short by a comfortable margin, garnering “just” over 300 wickets so that there is no debate on his greatness. But ask the team, or better see the numbers of his partners-in-crime and you will find that, he made telling contributions to another bowler’s wicket column when he was bowling in tandem with them. Perhaps, some people have the duty of making others look good and feel happy about that and if that is the case, then Morne has been a great example. An exemplary servant of South African cricket and a case of what could have been.

To conclude, I find solace that Morne has decided to move on from international cricket at a time, when he has enjoyed an amazing last 15 months of cricketing performance, getting noticed more than ever. Maybe, for some of us, what could have been is a better prospect of finding happiness in.

Best of luck Morne. At your best, you were a treat to watch.